This evening, Robert, the kids and I took Ilga (the kids’ chaperone & our friend) to a hockey game. The kids had said they didn’t particularly like hockey but once they got there their tune changed. The loud music and festival atmosphere made it fun. Our time with the kids this time around has been much different though. Kristine, in particular, doesn’t seem to be as happy with us and is testing us more. It was just nice that we were all able to get out and have some fun. A lot of that had to do with Ilga. She is an amazing woman who is adventurous and loves to try new things and go new places. She’s always fun to be around and she is someone that the kids trust.
The hockey game was exciting, but after awhile it kinda got old…at least for me. I was so glad that our team scored the winning goal during the last few seconds so we didn’t have to sit through overtime.
When we got home the mood quickly changed. All it took was us asking the kids to brush their teeth and get ready for bed and Kristine proceeded to throw a fit and spout off some not so nice (I couldn’t understand the words but the tone was clear as a bell!) words in Latvian. The tension had been building for awhile and that was the moment we put our foot down and called Ilga at 11pm at night to ask her to speak with Kristine. I must confess that Robert and I even wondered if Kristine was having second thoughts about us adopting her. If so, we needed to find out now before we follow through with our trip to Latvia next month. Kristine confided in Ilga about some of what was bothering her and Ilga was able to relay that to us so we could understand what was going on.
Kristine was very upset that we got Ilga involved but we told her we had no other choice. We all have some very serious decisions to make and we must make sure there are no misunderstandings. After Kristine talked with Ilga, I sat up with her in her room until about 2am just talking about what was bothering her. It took awhile but she finally started confiding in me and sharing her fears and some personal things about her life that help to explain why she’s been acting the way she has. I think we’ve all had some unrealistic expectations of each other and we need this hosting period to work through our issues. We explained to her that if she is not happy with us that we will not force her to come live with our family, but if she does live with us she will need to follow our rules. She needs to think long and hard about what she wants. I told her that we all have a lot to learn about each other and it will take time but families stick by each other no matter what. There were lots of tears but it was somewhat of a breakthrough to be communicating on a new level.
Overall, Rob and I still feel that Kristine is meant to be our daughter but there’s still no guarantee until we’re on that plane bringing her home from Latvia. We’re just taking one day at a time.
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